Calling it Quits?

I was watching The Voice last night (LOVE that show) and one of the contestants was there as his fiancé had given him an ultimatum to either make something of his singing or go get his law degree (*). The deadline is the end of this year. And this got me thinking…

At what point do you give up on your dream?

Personally I couldn’t grasp the concept of a partner not supporting a dream completely. Maybe I’m spoiled. My husband has never once given me a deadline to make this writing dream a reality, has never thrown the statistics in my face (only 1% of aspiring writers ‘make it’), has never told me to stop trying, so I can’t imagine not having his support in this venture.

Yes, we need to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, and no, rejections and failed auditions don’t pay the bills. But surely that’s no reason to stop chasing those pavements. We just have to do it ‘around’ our lives. We write or sing outside of our work hours, or when the kids are asleep, or between classes. It may not be the most direct route, or the fastest, but it doesn’t mean we won’t get there.

How many knock backs do we endure? And does it matter how long it takes?

So many of the contestants on The Voice say it’s their ‘last chance’ to make it, which I find so terribly sad. And it makes me think of three authors; one just starting and two very famous.

The first is my friend Jenn J Mcleod whose debut novel was released last month and is doing well. She tells how she gave herself a deadline of a certain important birthday (I won’t say which), and that if she hadn’t signed with an agent by then, she’d give up. She got “the call” the day before her birthday! But what if she hadn’t? What if that call was a month late? Or what if that agent was the next one on the list to query and it didn’t happen before her birthday? What would have become of “The House for all Seasons” then?

The second is Kathryn Stockett of “The Help” fame. She endured 60 rejections before agent 61 accepted her. And as she points out, what if she’d ‘given up after 15 rejections? Or 60?’

And the third is Mary Ann Shaffer, who wrote “Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”. She was in her seventies when her novel got picked up. And while she didn’t live to see it published, she died knowing it was going to be; knowing she had achieved her dream.

Don’t ever let anyone else force you to give up your dream. Even if you have to take the longest, most convoluted path to get there. Don’t ever say it’s your last chance. How do you know the next agent you query, or the next audition you go to, isn’t going to be “the one”?  It doesn’t matter how many rejections you get. It only takes one ‘yes’.

As long we breathe, there’s hope. And in the case of Mary Ann Shaffer, even after.

NEVER give up chasing those pavements.

S
* edit - The contestant mentioned above has clarified that there was no ultimatum and the producers cut the story to make it appear that way. No reality in reality TV - go figure! So sorry to said contestant, but the question of when to give up is still one worth pondering.